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Luke 6:27-28: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Could this possibly be the hardest spiritual practice taught by Jesus?  And I don’t doubt that he meant exactly what he said. I even yearn to live with a love like this in the world. I want to be that kind of person because I know Jesus’ teachings are truth. But I struggle to open my heart this wide. I love my opinions; I don’t want to change. And I’m sure I’m right. I have a long way to go.

But one practice that has brought me closer to loving those I have trouble loving is what I call deep listening. That means listening not to defend my position or to try change theirs (because I won’t). It means seeing that other person as a child of God first. And asking with a real desire to understand, “Could you tell me how you came to see things that way?” I have found that if I listen to another person’s story long enough, I find some compassion and connection. Being in a community with our differences becomes more important, more God’s vision, than holding tight to my own opinions.

I have followed the peace activist, Valerie Kaur for three years now and her words uplift me.

“The only way we will birth a multiracial democracy is if we hold up a vision of a future that leaves no one behind, not even our worst opponents. So you might be in the position to have that conversation with the neighbor down the street or the uncle at the family table or the teenager who doesn’t want to vote because she’s too cynical. What might happen if you leave them alone? Philosopher Hannah Arendt says isolation breeds radicalization.  You might be the person to puncture the social media algorithm, to sit in spaces of deep listening—and deep listening is an act of surrender. You risk being changed by what you hear.” 

May you find an opening to have that kind of deep listening with another. If you can’t just yet, see if you can bless them and pray for them as Jesus commands in this passage from Luke, listening to your own heart and how this affects you to do this. As always, ask God to help and guide you. We can’t do it on our own.

Pastor Marcia Wakeland is a retired ELCA pastor, a spiritual director and a listening advocate. She is interested in the actual experience of having faith and how that is lived out. She can be reached at mwakeland@gmail.com for comments or more questions Her ongoing blog of living out spiritual practices is listeninglife.live